In Contact: Camila Iglesias

Salty sips of morning coffee

I picked up those habits again 
The touch of a cigarette 
The smear of an alcohol 
The attraction of the other 
I figured that if I pick up running, I can compromise 
Just from time to time, as eventually, it should all be fine 
However, as time went by, all was 
as vapid as the smoke of my last cigarette that night 
And all there was left was my sore cough 
I am just not feeling it anymore 
That is why I chose celibacy 

My coffee tasted salty one morning 
Just one last sip before the tears run dry 
I recognized the familiar faces that tried to warn me 
But I was more familiar with the hopeless and attracted to the lost 
As we wandered together, I had no one to blame. 
Another hot sip of coffee sears my throat 
And my curls stroke my shoulders 
Another circle of smoke leaves the curvature of my lips as it kisses goodbye the troublesome mind intrusions after a loving embrace, removing every troublesome thought 
As the curvature became jagged, parts grew resistant 
Denounced parts of my worries 

My toes intertwined with the grass 
Ants tickling as they run over my thighs 
Passe-partout decorating flowers 
The fresh morning breeze kisses my neck 
As the sun rubs sand out her eyes 

As I step into the elevator, I tasted the sunscreen on my tongue 
Losing gravity 
I made mistakes you could say 
I often downplay my foolish past attempts. To avoid paster pains 

I crack my neck as I’m about to commit to a brand new adventure 
Mechanical staccato arms smashing traces onto figments 
Leaving meaning as they return home base 
Refraining from touching those bad habits 
to get in touch with myself 
as I am and remain whole 
but wary to seek self in the corners coated with shadows 
In my celibate sabbatical 

Observe and catch what will crawl out of the shadows 
Once the distractions have dissipated 
So I can nurture the beasts, calm them, nurture them, heal them 
And incorporate them in my quirky family 

As two particles collide, momentum is conserved 
As weight was increased, pressure raised upon two particles 
Every night I passed away, far enough to wake up by mornings kiss 
I colored my afternoons black as memories passed along 
Missing, missed, lost 
Let me tell you a secret here 
I won’t be there for any longer than a year 
Let me tell you another secret there 
I won’t be here for any longer than a couple of years 
Now let me tell you a fact 
I haven’t been here 
As you were fully occupied by my presence 
It was my mere existence; flesh guided by my brittle bones 
Were you aware 
You were fully occupied 
As two particles collide 
Pressure raised 
We missed momentum 

Matter is made visible by light particles 
Reflection causes objects to become observable 
Then why do I feel like I don’t matter 

I listened to your rambling 
While countless black birds crossed overheads 

I colored my afternoons black

Why didn’t you wait until next morning? 
I colored my afternoons black 
I colored my afternoons 
Countless hours 
To reunite 
with you 
in black 

I had a collision this morning 
A combination of circumstances 
Made me the culprit 
She fell down hard 
Face front first 
She said nothing 
And drove on 

Currently I portray trees, because it soothes me. But, I am a being with many interests. Inspired by experiences, emotions, sensations, and knowledge. Passionate about psychology, philosophy, religion, and breathing. Mainly expressing through science, art, and conversations. Trying to understand and develop in pursuit of finding my true form. I am here, where I am ought to be. I will be, where I should go. As I trust. 

I feel most comfortable when I hold a pen. Surrounded by nature or books. Often turned inwards. I have been called an introvert, but at times was referred to as extroverted. I have been called manic. I have been depressed.  

I have been called beautiful. I have been called an angel. 
They called me ugly. They called me a whore. 
A woman. A man? Christ, or Goddess at best. 
A scientist. An artist. A local. An alien. 

I internalized all those expressions and that gorgeous mess of a conglomerate is me, Camila. I am. Lovely to meet you. 

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