Salty sips of morning coffee
I picked up those habits again
The touch of a cigarette
The smear of an alcohol
The attraction of the other
I figured that if I pick up running, I can compromise
Just from time to time, as eventually, it should all be fine
However, as time went by, all was
as vapid as the smoke of my last cigarette that night
And all there was left was my sore cough
I am just not feeling it anymore
That is why I chose celibacy
My coffee tasted salty one morning
Just one last sip before the tears run dry
I recognized the familiar faces that tried to warn me
But I was more familiar with the hopeless and attracted to the lost
As we wandered together, I had no one to blame.
Another hot sip of coffee sears my throat
And my curls stroke my shoulders
Another circle of smoke leaves the curvature of my lips as it kisses goodbye the troublesome mind intrusions after a loving embrace, removing every troublesome thought
As the curvature became jagged, parts grew resistant
Denounced parts of my worries
My toes intertwined with the grass
Ants tickling as they run over my thighs
Passe-partout decorating flowers
The fresh morning breeze kisses my neck
As the sun rubs sand out her eyes
As I step into the elevator, I tasted the sunscreen on my tongue
Losing gravity
I made mistakes you could say
I often downplay my foolish past attempts. To avoid paster pains
I crack my neck as I’m about to commit to a brand new adventure
Mechanical staccato arms smashing traces onto figments
Leaving meaning as they return home base
Refraining from touching those bad habits
to get in touch with myself
as I am and remain whole
but wary to seek self in the corners coated with shadows
In my celibate sabbatical
Observe and catch what will crawl out of the shadows
Once the distractions have dissipated
So I can nurture the beasts, calm them, nurture them, heal them
And incorporate them in my quirky family
As two particles collide, momentum is conserved
As weight was increased, pressure raised upon two particles
Every night I passed away, far enough to wake up by mornings kiss
I colored my afternoons black as memories passed along
Missing, missed, lost
Let me tell you a secret here
I won’t be there for any longer than a year
Let me tell you another secret there
I won’t be here for any longer than a couple of years
Now let me tell you a fact
I haven’t been here
As you were fully occupied by my presence
It was my mere existence; flesh guided by my brittle bones
Were you aware
You were fully occupied
As two particles collide
Pressure raised
We missed momentum
Matter is made visible by light particles
Reflection causes objects to become observable
Then why do I feel like I don’t matter
I listened to your rambling
While countless black birds crossed overheads
I colored my afternoons black
Lingering
Longing
Why didn’t you wait until next morning?
I colored my afternoons black
I colored my afternoons
Countless hours
To reunite
with you
in black
I had a collision this morning
A combination of circumstances
Made me the culprit
She fell down hard
Face front first
She said nothing
And drove on
Love.
Currently I portray trees, because it soothes me. But, I am a being with many interests. Inspired by experiences, emotions, sensations, and knowledge. Passionate about psychology, philosophy, religion, and breathing. Mainly expressing through science, art, and conversations. Trying to understand and develop in pursuit of finding my true form. I am here, where I am ought to be. I will be, where I should go. As I trust.
I feel most comfortable when I hold a pen. Surrounded by nature or books. Often turned inwards. I have been called an introvert, but at times was referred to as extroverted. I have been called manic. I have been depressed.
I have been called beautiful. I have been called an angel.
They called me ugly. They called me a whore.
A woman. A man? Christ, or Goddess at best.
A scientist. An artist. A local. An alien.
I internalized all those expressions and that gorgeous mess of a conglomerate is me, Camila. I am. Lovely to meet you.
